I fell asleep soon has my head hit the pillow last night I was asleep for 10:30- 11:00 I don’t even remember falling asleep I just remember waking up at 4.30 and going right back to sleep, I guess I needed it.
That didn’t stop me from waking up at 9:30 and felling awful and not wanting to get up or do anything.
I managed to pull myself out at 10:00 and went into town, my senses was on high today for some reason, i was so, so jumpy.
I got what I needed and just got back home I didn’t wanna spend to long out on my own in town. I felt the signs, tight chest, knots in my stomach, heart racing…I just wanted to get in and out.
I tried to take my mind of it by doing some filming of the European Markets that’s in Wigan but I just couldn’t talk on it I tried but I couldn’t find the words to say what i wanted, what i thought of the event, just nothing.
When I got home and got myself into a good state of mind I went to pick Hayley up and we went to Manchester, I felt a bit more at ease there less chance of running into people I know.
We went to the Irish Markets but by the time we got there they was closed only the bar tent was open so we went in for a soft drink two reasons I’m not aloud to drink when I am out with Hayley and two I can’t drink at the moment because of the medication I am on.
We watched some of the bands and then we went for something to eat and headed home, there was a issue with the train but apart from that it was a great evening.
After dropping Hayley off I called to get some thing to do a coddle for tea tomorrow one thing i love about St Pats day is i get to cook.
It was nice to have a change again i think part of my problem is seeing the same things over and over day in and day out nothing new.
Mum will say to me go for a walk get out the house, but even doing that it’s nothing new, nothing different.