I’m really not feeling great today, I just feel so trapped feel do caged I just stayed in bed I didn’t even go for a walk I just couldn’t do it.
I wish I could feel like going out and go for a walk normally I still go for a short walk, if it’s coffee or just to clear my head but today I just couldn’t do it I tried to drag myself out of bed but I couldn’t.
I Just sat in my room, I didn’t even feel like doing my vlogs I did a start and a end but that’s it.
I just keep thinking back to last week and all the fun we had and I start to get upset I just want a time machine and go back to last week and have a good time again and laugh and joke but i know that’s not possible, I’m just sat here counting down the days till I get to see Midnight again and till I see Ally again.
They take the pain away, they make everything ok, I love them both, They make life worth while.
They give me a reason to smile and laugh with them I have so much to look forward to.
I just wish I could shake these feelings I’m having of sadness and darkness I just want some one to hug me and tell me everything will be ok and just make me smile and tell me whats wrong and whats going on.
I just wish I knew what was going on with my head the meds aren’t working I still feel sad and low I just wish I knew why.