Today had been awful, I’d say today is the worst I have been since the start, I just did not want to get out of bed I just wanted to stay in bed all day and not move.
When i woke up I felt like crying I just lay in bed and did all I could to stop myself from crying. I just felt like screaming the house down and not stopping till the pain stopped.
I just wish I knew what had caused me to be like this.
I feel so trapped and caged in like i’m in a zoo watching the world go by and i’m just stuck here feeling like i’m the last person on earth.
I feel so alone when I’m here when I’m not with Ally and Midnight everything seems dark and I don’t know when the light will be back.
I had a walk round to the shop just to clear my head but I just felt dead inside, like I was running on autopilot like i was looking out my eyes but I was watching a TV show.
I went back upstairs when I got in my uncle came round which got me to go down when my uncle calls round it always cheers me up, he reminds me of Ally and Midnight in lots of ways I like it when we comes round.
When he went I just went right back upstairs, tomorrow is my mums birthday so I will try and put my mask on and smile and try and be happy, try and be ok.
She doesn’t really do anything but still…I should at least try.