Well…two steps forward five steps back…I’m in pain physically, emotionally and mentally today i just wanna cry and scream and punch myself over and over and over again until I feel again.
I thought I was getting better, I thought I was getting to the end and I was reaching the light.
Today I fell back into the pit it was like the universe was saying “na, you had a good few days BANG back down the rabbit hole you go!”
I asked mum to come into Wigan with me and all got was a ear full telling me as capable to go on my own and didn’t need her, she had other things to do…Some times I hate the type of Autism I have, because all i get is “but you can do it…”
Also because I have been in a good place my mum and dad think making it up, faking it or just saying i don’t feel great for the hell of it.
I will see how I get on tomorrow, i may go back to my doctors, or it might be worth seeing if i can get admitted to the local hospital and get help there.
I don’t know if I am bad enough though because i’m not wanting to kill myself or anything like that.
It also hasn’t help that an alarm has been going off all day, it'[s been like nails on a chalkboard.