Today has been no better, ive felt worse if anything. I can’t expain it to any one I got up this morning and right away my mum bombarded me with demands i just sat on the couch and cried to myself.
I went to the shop and had a panic attack on way there and way back. I just want to scream all the time just open my mouth and scream like no tomorrow.
Once i took my meds and they stated to work i felt a little better and was downloaded some games to play.
I also talked to midnight and she said if i don’t feel any better by Thursday i am more than welcome to go over Thursday, which i am thinking of doing a change is as good as a rest.
Today i’ve not felt great and i think i know why but i don’t know how to fix it if i could fix it…i would be ok.
I haven’t felt like doing any blogs or anything i just wanted to stay in bed. Not get up not move or do anything.
Well ok thats 70% ture i needed to go into town to get a new case for my holiday and friend Pip told me where i could get some cheap ones so i asked could i go there only to be told no, i had to beg for a lift in the went i went on my own into town and got a taxi home.
I thought about going to or phoning the hospital up to see if they could admit me for a few days to get myself right.
Im actually half tempted to ask Midnight can i go over to hers on Thursday start my holiday early.
Today has been great I’ve felt a little sad because i had to leave Midnight and Ally but I’ve got to see Bri and Dionne I’ve also got to see Pip and some of my other friends at GPW.
I really miss wrestling next to the convention it’s the next thing to a family feeling want to go back, but HIS voice his always there calling me worthless and stupid and would never do anything in my life, just like in school.
I bet i can sit down and do a time time to when things went down hill went back up and went down again.
It’s becoming clear, only problem is i don’t know how to fix the problem.
Today started off being stressful, I thought my dad was taking me to Liverpool but he said he had to go to Manchester so ended up on the train, which in it’s self was stressful.
Has I had to rush for my train and get some thing to eat.
Has it turned out I didn’t need to rush has i got in to Liverpool an hour early, so in the end i didn’t need to worry.
I had a walk round some shops and then heading to starbucks and waited for the girls to join me.
Midnight met me first and then ally later on, we had a walk round some more shops and then went for chinese and we had the most random chat…but then again we always do.
Afterwards we went back to Allys and chilled thats why this is so late being posted.
I Do feel sad because it’s a quick visit but not long till scotland
Today I’ve had a lot of fun I went for my weekly outing with my friend Hayley. We went into town, we went for some lunch We had a walk round and then went for a coffee, we we ended up having a milkshake.
I did have a mini heart attack has i bought some DVDs and I left them in the coffee shop i freaked out a little but one I found them I was fine.
After I came home I made a start on packing which…I will more or likely need to finish in the morning which will be a little stressful, but I’m getting to see my alpha and parabatai tomorrow, my two best friends, my two soul sisters.
It seems like ages since I’ve seen them, it’s a month since I’ve seen Ally and even though it’s two weeks since I saw Midnight it feels like longer.
I’m really looking forward to seeing them., I also worked on a few youtube videos if any one is interested in watching my vlogs feel free to https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCABCi62qzVgc-9e8odGRqLg
It’s getting to the point where i no longer know what to write on these, specially like today when I haven’t really done anything.
I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but still I’ll write what I can.
I’ve felt good today if not a little caged it, I’ve just had a nice relaxing chilled day I played a game on my PS3 and just relaxed.
I have had a little bit of a headache and my head has been spinning but other than that.
I’ve been plotting things with Midnight and just getting hyped for Scotland, and Thursday.
We also planning a for a few future events.
But yeah, apart from feeling caged in i’ve felt good and not to bad hopfully this is me coming out of the past two months and soon I’ll be able to say I feel great.
things have been good today apart from my computer running hella show but that’s not to much of a issue, it can be fixed.
So yeah today has been good very quiet but good…Really just seem to be a chilled day.
I got a lot of my packing done for Scotland IF and that’s a big IF i get some money tomorrow I may have a walk into town to get a few pairs of Jeans or leggings I’m really looking forward Scotland is something to look forward to.
I also went to the autism hub which was fun I have some great ideas for things to do there, I just gotta plan them all out.