Mental health vlog day 76

Today has been great we went to town and then chilled we spent all day watching orange is the new black and then random stuff on tv.
We have been getting ready for Scotland tomorrow I so can’t wait i doubt I will sleep tonight well we do have six and half hour drive so if i fall asleep it’s all good.

I honestly can’t wait  feel really good right now, I just hope that i’m going to get better now and i can start being happy again.

Mental health blog day 74

Today started good me and midnight went down to pontefract museum and had a walk into the castle but there was working being done on it so we couldn’t walk round but was still cool to go down there.

We chilled watching tv and just chatting but then money or lack of raised it’s head im worring about having enough coin for this tomorrow scotland and then two more weeks im sure i still be fine but still

Mental health blog day 73

today has been good, went into town with Hayley, we went for some lunch and coffee we had a good chat and got to hang out.

when I got back we i did some videos and then spent the rest of the night editing them, i did get stressed out has they wouldn’t seem to work or my card slipped and i had to close the programme and restart i did start getting annoyed at the computer.

I can’t wait for tomorrow to have a week away and then i gotta do it all over again for the con in Blackpool and Birmingham i know I have things to look forward to and things to enjoy but still i can’t shake the self doubt and cloud.

mental health blog day 72

Today has been better I think it’s because 48 hours i will be going over to Midnight’s, i’m OK to go over on Thursday, I so can’t wait a change of area will do some good.
Ponte, Newcastle, Scotland i can’t wait.

To just hopefully have a few days of excitement and to able to laugh and smile. To just geek out already i feel the warmth coming back.
I know that when i come home…what ever problems are here will still be here but going away gives me some time to think, some time to think of things.

Midnight understands and cares and right now thats what i need

Mental health blog day 71

Today I have felt a bit more with it I think it’s because I know it’s only a few days to Scotland and i’m going to have a change to scenically, which is just what I need.
I’m all packed and i think i am going to go over to Midnights on Thursday Wigan is driving me round the bend I just need to get out i know that when i come back next week all the problems are still going to be here, if i still feel bad when i get back, then it may be time to look has residential support till I start to feel 100% Until then how ever, I am going to try and see how I get on.

I went to the Hub and that was fun one thing I love about going there is the peace you can take yourself off and just sit quiet on your own just have a little bit of quiet.

mental heath day blog day 68

Today has been great I’ve felt a little sad because i had to leave Midnight and Ally but I’ve got to see Bri and Dionne I’ve also got to see Pip and some of my other friends at GPW.
I really miss wrestling next to the convention it’s the next thing to a family feeling  want to go back, but HIS voice his always there calling me worthless and stupid and would never do anything in my life, just like in school.

I bet i can sit down and do a time time to when things went down hill went back up and went down again.

It’s becoming clear, only problem is i don’t know how to fix the problem.

Mental health blog day 66

Today I’ve had a lot of fun I went for my weekly outing with my friend Hayley.  We went into town, we went for some lunch We had a walk round and then went for a coffee, we we ended up having a milkshake.

I did have a mini heart attack has i bought some DVDs and I left them in the coffee shop i freaked out a little but one I found them I was fine.

After I came home I made a start on packing which…I will more or likely need to finish in the morning which will be a little stressful, but I’m getting to see my alpha and parabatai tomorrow, my two best friends, my two soul sisters.

It seems like ages since I’ve seen them, it’s a month since I’ve seen Ally and even though it’s two weeks since I saw Midnight it feels like longer.

I’m really looking forward to seeing them., I also worked on a few youtube videos if any one is interested in watching my vlogs feel free to https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCABCi62qzVgc-9e8odGRqLg